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ANNIEHASSELBACH
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I've read this one online, but I don't remember exactly how it was put. Here's my version.
A pilot, a jerk, and a man who likes to hike are on a plane. The plane is going to crash, and there are only two parachutes. Before anyone can decide who gets a parachute, the jerk grabs one and jumps out of the plane. The pilot says, "Well, now there is only one parachute; you can have it." The man who likes to hike smiles and says, "Don't worry, that wasn't a parachute; that was my hiking equipment."