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Telesh_Rahangdale
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Learning of any kind that involves zero investment of your thinking produces
only imitation. To create ideas and better yourself, you have to take the
information and apply your own mind.
When parenting is not coming from the parents own mind, their own
ideas and their own thinking, it becomes an imitation of whatever they have
learned. What that means is, they could be playing a character of what they
believe a parent is. The character could be of a strict parent, of a genius
person who knows everything, or of a person who is very brave and heroic. It
could be anything. But when this happens, it becomes harder for the kid to
find their parent approachable and figure them out. There is love, but the
relationship is between the kid and a character, not the actual person.
There are several reasons for parents to do this.
One reason could be playing a role gives them the comfort of hiding all
their personal trials and tribulations from you. Just because somebody is
older doesnt mean they have figured out life. In most cases, older people are
children who have aged. Stop attaching maturity, wisdom, enlightenment to
ageing. He is old, hence he must be wise is one of the stupidest notions we
take for granted.
Another reason is pride. In cases where the parents sole focus is on the
kid becoming capable, the character they play also becomes the one that
expects only brilliance and exceptional performances from the kid. In playing
this character, the kid becomes a reflection of their ego. The kids emotional
and personal growth is hardly ever addressed. There is love, but it is shown in
demands of accomplishments and excellence. In this case, what is missing is
the responsibility of helping that kid become the individual they are meant to
be.